01 February 2009

Weigh Day

So it's the 1st of February today and the official end of January's Challenge. I woke early this morning drifting in and out of sleep, dreaming of weighing myself, sometimes I gained, sometimes I lost, most of the dreams ended just before I saw that number pop up. When I finally was awake enough to contemplate the task ahead I padded down the hall trying to work out if I hadn't already done this, the dreams seemed so real.

I got the Wii balance board all ready only to discover it had run out of batteries, damn! With my heart beating a little faster I pulled apart the remotes looking for the right ones. Batteries in place I followed the prompts and impatiently waited for the result.

A loss of 900gms...... hmm, disappointment surrounded me as I stood there staring at the screen. Can that be right? It's been six weeks. Shoulders slumped I crawled back into bed next to the sleeping Ninja and shed a tear or two. As I slipped back into dream land I felt the weight of a bad weigh day hit me and I thought "hmmmmm here it comes, maybe I can sleep through it?"

I woke up and had a chat to The Ninja about my disappointment, we talked about the time frame, that a two week Christmas New Year Holiday fell in my six weeks and that that time wasn't exactly spent with weight loss in mind, in fact I probably gained weight. I still felt a bit sad, then she came back, Sabotaging Me crept into my mind without a sound and said loud and clear "you can't do anything right, you're not even working right now, all you have to do is focus on weight loss and you can't even do that".

I could have fell down right there, I felt the pull into the abyss, I started stumbling toward the edge, I could feel my heart sinking, the tears rolling, the happiness of the last six weeks ebbing away. I mustered all my strength, came back to reality and said "NO!" SM scuttled away back into her cage. I'm facing today like any other day, I'm going to keep on keeping on, because that's all I can do, and I'm going to be proud of every gram of that 900 because that's 900gms in the right direction.

"Little by little one walks far"
Peruvian Proverb


  1. You are closer than ever to your goal- not only because you are losing weight, but because you put SM back in her place, that was the major challenge of today and YOU DID IT! And you can do it again.
    You're winning! Keep going!
    love, love love

  2. Well-written and well-reasoned. Kick that SM out of your life completely. You can do it!

  3. Thanks for the support! It's worth more than I can describe.

  4. Oh honey bee, I feel for you! I know exactly what you are going through, only I torture myself more often. But you are right, 900g is 900g in the right direction.