I have not faced the fear, I have not even come close..... and lets not even talk about the SCUBA diving.... I mean really, a girl needs time to psych herself up for that kind of stuff.... and money, and I surely don't see much of that lying around lately.
I guess I had good intentions..... or did I? Did I pick two outrageous activities, a short time span (the shortest month of the year even) and then just assume they would happen because I blogged about it? Maybe.
I think this experience is pretty indicative of my weight loss attempts in the past. I start some crazy diet, embark on a ball breaking exercise routine, tell every one about it and then wait for it all to happen to me....... and then it doesn't, or it does for a few days and then I crumble, it really is inhumane to exclude carbs people. Really. I know. I've tried. Too many times.
I am doing it again, sure I'm feeling all proud and righteous about not starting a fad diet, and sticking to exercise I like and can actually do. But here I am sneaking in a goal that's a little out of reach right now, you know why? I do, so I can fail, Sabotaging Me will love it, she's been so quiet lately but I noticed this morning I could hear her smirking. She's looked at the calender, she knows February is nearly over, she's sitting there quietly waiting so she can jump out and yell "Ha Ha Ha. I knew it... you fool, as if you would ever go rock climbing.... and SCUBA diving! Ha. Really?......"
Then I would fall into a pit of despair, forget about all the realistic progress I have made and mope around feeling like a fraud.....
Well I'm sorry to tell you SM, the ruse is up. I know what you're at and it aint gunna fly down here at Healthy Lifestyle Be Kind to Yourself Ranch.... no sirree. Back to the drawing board lady, I'm on to you!
February continues........ watch this space for updates.
"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it"
Robin Williams
Robin Williams
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