Constant Cravings

Image: jelene

Arggghhhhk. Today was a disaster day...... apple crumble with ice cream, hot chocolate, salt and vinegar chips, chocolate after dinner and another ice cream just to cement the worst day in a long time.

I'm bloated and gassy, is that classed as over sharing I wonder?? I feel like I'm sliding down the greasy slippery slope desperately trying to grasp onto something, only to find myself gaining no traction, floundering as I slide on down into to a refined carbs mess.

It started last week with bread. Bread that I proudly made myself, but bread nonetheless. White bread, that golden crisp warm straight out of the oven kind of temptation. Generous dollops of butter melting into the white warmness. I could feel something inside kick over, some kind of insanity, something other taking control. I couldn't stop at one slice, two, three, four, half the loaf gone, the horse was out of the gate, bolted.

From that day on I've had these insatiable cravings...... for what? Anything junky, as today's menu attests. Thinking back on the last few weeks, I've slipped into a predictable pattern of mine.... feeling good, feeling like I'm getting there, subconsciously freaking out and then mindlessly pigging out so that the status quo ante is well and truly returned to. Yo-yoing!

Eeeek...... refined carbs will always do it to me, it's like the more I have the more I want and on and on and on. So to cold turkey it is for me.

I guess it's good timing really, I've had the whole cholesterol matter knocking around in my head recently. Ignoring it, as you may well know, really isn't the answer. So here we go people...... 6 weeks from now I will rock up to my darling doc and get the test. In the meantime I'm going to get this jonesing under control and regain myself.