04 August 2009

Constant Cravings

Image: jelene

Arggghhhhk. Today was a disaster day...... apple crumble with ice cream, hot chocolate, salt and vinegar chips, chocolate after dinner and another ice cream just to cement the worst day in a long time.

I'm bloated and gassy, is that classed as over sharing I wonder?? I feel like I'm sliding down the greasy slippery slope desperately trying to grasp onto something, only to find myself gaining no traction, floundering as I slide on down into to a refined carbs mess.

It started last week with bread. Bread that I proudly made myself, but bread nonetheless. White bread, that golden crisp warm straight out of the oven kind of temptation. Generous dollops of butter melting into the white warmness. I could feel something inside kick over, some kind of insanity, something other taking control. I couldn't stop at one slice, two, three, four, half the loaf gone, the horse was out of the gate, bolted.

From that day on I've had these insatiable cravings...... for what? Anything junky, as today's menu attests. Thinking back on the last few weeks, I've slipped into a predictable pattern of mine.... feeling good, feeling like I'm getting there, subconsciously freaking out and then mindlessly pigging out so that the status quo ante is well and truly returned to. Yo-yoing!

Eeeek...... refined carbs will always do it to me, it's like the more I have the more I want and on and on and on. So to cold turkey it is for me.

I guess it's good timing really, I've had the whole cholesterol matter knocking around in my head recently. Ignoring it, as you may well know, really isn't the answer. So here we go people...... 6 weeks from now I will rock up to my darling doc and get the test. In the meantime I'm going to get this jonesing under control and regain myself.


  1. Good luck!

    I was eating rather junky too and today I said "no more!". I find that eating junky just is really impairing- small amounts lead to more for me. I'm better off eating clean 99% of the time. Even something like 90-10 usually turns into 80-20 and then 70-30 and so on...

    LOVE homemade bread. Every time I make it it's gone within the day :D

    - Sagan

  2. Refined carbs get me too! Today I craved junk food, because I had to go through the food court at the mall to get to the banks and there are all these visual cues... I even went into one of the take-out places, but fortunately sanity prevailed and I went to a sit down restaurant where I had a piece of grilled linefish. It was awesome! Crisis averted.

    Hope you can reign this in!

  3. you can do it Bernie think how far you have come

  4. I guess I shouldn't, but I feel I ought to apologise about a waffle:-o ...Can I ask a favour?...please remind me to stand/sit up straight if you see me slouching ("what hump?").

  5. Berni, bread does that to me. It sounds like you might ought to be sure it is a rarity accompanied by strong willpower. At least that is how I have to do it.

    Make it a great day!

  6. i've been there lately too!! what's helping me is taking note of how i feel after eating unhealthy foods, the sickness, bloating, the feeling of grease crawling up my throat, ugh. it definitely makes me want to eat better.
    i have to say though, homemade bread and butter sounds really good!!

  7. Well, on the bright side, sometimes "disaster days" make great turning points and really get momentum going back in the right direction!

  8. Ah yes, good bread has a habit of doing that. And cake too. When that happens to me, I try to practise forgiveness towards myself so I can move on right away and then I point out how good it feels to make better choices. No trying to make up for it, or being angry at myself - that's what I used to do and nothing changed until I stopped.

  9. Sagan-Great advice, I've toyed with the "cheat day" idea too but just end up having 1 then 2 then 3 days..... 99% is a great figure!

    Hanlie- good work! It can be tricky when it's all there on display tempting us every step of the way.

    Chow and Chatter- Thanks Rebecca, I know I can,
    I know I can, I know I can!!

  10. Chico- Oh but the waffle was so good.... a not to be missed experience methinks!

    Steve- You are so right, I usually never eat bread for this precise reason.

    Sunny- Oh the bread was sooo good. Shame I didn't stop there :)

    Crabby- Yesyesyes! Thanks for reminding me.

    Spring Girl- Practicing forgiveness. What a great idea.